http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/222634/plastic-cards-and-paper-money

[Wall Street, the New York Stock Exchange. It's a busy day. Stan walks into view from the left]

Stan: 'Scuse me. 'Scuse me! I'd like to return this Margaritaville, please?
Stockbroker: Margaritaville?
Stan: My dad bought it on a payment plan that was set up by a finance company which got their principal investors from somebody here.
Stockbroker: Oh, that makes sense.
Stan: It does?
Stockbroker: You see, son, we lump thousands of these Margaritaville installment plans together into Margaritaville-based securities, then chop those securities up in a way that we could sell them to banks.
Stan: So I can return it to a bank?
Stockbroker: Nope, because a bunch of people like you are defaulting on their Margaritavilles so the government had to buy the Margaritavilles assets from the banks.
Stan: What?!
Stockbroker: Just talk to the Treasury Department in DC. They're the ones who really understand how all this works. [notices some activity on his stocks] Oh, sell sell sell sell sell sell sell!
Stan: Aargh! [walks off with the Margaritaville]

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/222624/the-importance-of-saving-money

Stan:     Do I really have to do this, Dad?
Randy:     Stan, now more than ever you need to understand the importance of saving money.
Stan:     But Grandma said I could use this money to buy whatever I want.
Teller:     Okay, next please.
Randy:     Go on, Stanley. [Stan walks up to the teller's desk and takes a seat.]
Teller:     How can I help you, young man?
Stan:     I got a hundred dollar check from my grandma, and my dad said I need to put it in the bank so it can grow over the years.
Teller:     Well that's fantastic, a really smart decision, young man. We can put that check in a Money Market Mutual Fund, then we'll reinvest the earnings into foreign currency accounts with compounding interest aaand it's gone. [they look at each other for a long time]
Stan:     Uh, what?
Teller:     It's gone. It's all gone.
Stan:     What's all gone?
Teller:     The money in your account - it didn't do too well, it's gone.
Stan:     What do you mean? I have I have a hundred dollars.
Teller:     Not anymore you don't. POOF.
Stan:     Well, wel what can I do to get back my money-?
Teller:     I'm sorry sir, but this line is for bank members only.
Stan:     I just opened an account.
Teller:     Do you have any money invested in this bank?
Stan:     No, you just lost it all!
Teller:     Then please stand aside for people who actually have money with us. Next please. [an elderly woman steps up and bumps Stan out of the chair.]
Stan:     Hey!
Teller:     Hello Mrs. Farnicle, how are you today? Making a deposit are we? Great, we can just put that into your retirement account and make it go to work for you aaaaand it's gone.
Elderly Woman:     What??
Teller:     Sorry, yeah, that's gone. Please step aside for people who actually have money with the bank. Next please.
Stan:     Dad?!
Randy:     Hey I'm trying to teach my son the importance of savings. You already lost his money?
Teller:     Oh, Mr. Marsh, uhd-don't worry. We can just transfer money from your account into a portfolio with your son aaand it's gone! This line is for people who have money with the bank only please step aside. [both Randy and Stan are dumbstruck.]